Remembrance
by DeLeyano
Summary: The problem with drugs is once they're in you, in your blood, in your heart, in your mind, and in your very soul, is you just can't get away. It's the same with vampire blood; there's no way out, even if you think there is.
1. Regret but Not

**Notes:** This fanfic switches from first person view (italicized) to third person view (unitalicized) a lot. First person=the character is thinking or a memory, third person=present. The fanfic is set pre-City of Bones, and will have very little to do with my other fanfictions. I am aware that Raphael would have grown up in a different time period; however, no one knows how old he actually is. So, I may say something was X years ago but there may be references that are very close to the present or as the world is now, such as music, political events, etc. Don't shoot me for it, I just know the present best so that is what I'm going to use. (Basically, I suck at history).

**Rated M:** I don't want to hear any outrageously, negative reviews about content or themes in this fanfiction, they will not be welcome. If you've read Falling Stars, then you already have an idea of how this fanfiction is going to go; you've been warned.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything; it all belongs to Cassandra Clare, except maybe the plot line. (I don't know anything official about the characters' pasts before the series).

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The problem with drugs is once they're in you, in your blood, in your heart, in your mind, and in your very soul, is you just can't get away. It's the same with vampire blood; there's no way out, even if you think there is.

**Remembrance**

Chapter 1 Regret but Not

"_You're a fucking murderer, you little bitch!" Technically the blonde, overly attractive bloodsucker in front me well, cornering me, was about the same height as I was; but the heroine that was laced though my veins only made me braver, or maybe that was the feeling of being so close to death…_

"_How'd you get in here?" It, she, asked. Like I cared, like I could actually remember how I and the others had gotten in here. I was too doped up to care._

"_Fuck you." I spat back at her face. That was a bad idea; she growled, like actually growled at me, and I could see those two little fangs in her mouth. They weren't big like those fake, plastic things you bought at a costume store; they were like needles, very tiny, hollow needles to drink up the blood. Thinking about needles made me think of shooting up again, as if I had not done enough already._

"_Do you know what the laws pertaining to trespassers on vampire territory are, mundane?" She asked. She was right up in my face now, her green eyes glowing like a cat's even in this dim light. Her lips were red, but my mind couldn't figure out if they were red from blood or just naturally red._

"_I go where ever I want, puta." I said, trying to mimic her threatening tone. I raised the knife I had that had been blessed by the priest, I had forgotten I even had it, and swung at her. The tip cut her shoulder and I heard her cry out; but I was too slow and she knocked the blade away leaving me defenseless. _

"_Now you're going to die, mundane." Those were the last words I ever heard as a human. _

"Raphael!" Raphael turned to see who was approaching him, only to see Elliot, one of the few that Raphael considered a friend these days. "Raphael, what are you doing?" It's almost sunrise; please tell me you're not considering suicide again?"

The thought had occurred to Raphael before, but that was years ago, when he still regretted entering the hotel only to end up as one of the undead. Now he had a reason to live his undead life: revenge, because Raphael might be in charge of the coven, but Camille was still alive. "No," Raphael answered plainly, and started heading in the direction of the Dumont.

"You were with your family." It was not a question, Elliot knew about Raphael visiting his family every Sunday, despite the fact that he was not supposed to visit them. Technically the whole coven knew now, but since Raphael was in charge, he got to set the rules.

"Yes," Raphael replied. There were no more questions between the two of them as they returned to the Dumont, which only left the silence of the night, which only reminded Raphael more of the night he had been turned. "Where do you think we would be if we had never attacked the vampires?" Raphael asked. Although Elliot and Raphael had been two of the seven boys to attack the vampires, they rarely discussed the night.

"Six feet under," Elliot replied; there was a hint of humor in his voice and when Raphael turned to look at Elliot, there was a grin plastered on Elliot's face; Raphael couldn't help but grin back. "Dead, diseased, point of no return," Elliot was laughing now and Raphael joined in, partially because it was funny and partially because it was true: with the life the two of them had been living, they would have kicked it decades ago; and now they were immortal, how ironic.

Elliot and Raphael parted ways as they headed for their individual rooms, Elliot's on the twelfth floor, and Raphael's on the fifteenth; Camille's old room, the room that was designated for the head vampire.

Raphael had been head of the New York coven for three years now, but in vampire time, that was about three months. However, he had dealt directly with the clave for the past ten years, acting as head vampire so much that the Nephilim had come to believe he was the head vampire; which only made the transition from one leader to another less difficult when he had overthrown Camille.

Camille was one of the oldest vampires alive in the world. She was cunning, beautiful, and above all, ruthless; but she was still no match for Raphael. Having been Camille's second for fifteen years, and having spent another four years before that as a regular member of the coven, Raphael had a pretty good idea of how to get rid of Camille, because Raphael was second to no one. There was only one problem now: Camille was still alive and so were the questioning few that were her devoted followers.

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Yes, it's short, but all my first chapters are short. This is going to be a fanfiction that I update when I have inspiration, mainly because there's no gigantic plot line, maybe a small one but not much, it's a background story for Raphael's life and how he got where he is today. So if anyone has any ideas for certain moments in his life, let me know and I'll come up with something. :)

Also if anyone has a good category for this fanfiction to go into please tell me. I put down supernatural because it has to do with being a vampire and then also crime because it has to do with Raphael's past, but if someone has a better category I beg you to tell me.


	2. Leverage

Chapter 2 Leverage

Getting turned into a vampire had its perks. The immortality, the speed, the strength, the heightened sense, yet despite all that, it was still the worse memory of Raphael's life; considering neither Camille nor the other vampires had intended to turn him. Maybe that was how God had intended for Raphael to get revenge on Camille: let Raphael join the undead so he could be Camille's biggest nuisance, and eventual downfall, for eternity.

_That still did not make the turning any better. Getting buried alive, sure I was almost dead, but I understood what was going on the whole time, Camille attacking me, draining my blood to the point where I could not speak or see or move but I remember I could hear. _

"_He's a junky; no one's going to miss him," _

"_Someone will." _

"_Yeah, the other junkies. Just bury the body, it shouldn't be hard, he's dying, if not dead already." _

"_Camille, we can't have unmarked graves showing up around here, the mundanes are already suspicious about the hotel, if people go missing like this, and if a shallow, unmarked grave pops up, we really will have a problem, and that problem is called the Nephilim." Raphael could tell the voice was male and deep. The words were becoming blurrier and blurrier._

"_Then bury him outside of the city." The bitch's, Camille's, words were dull, and after that, I could not hear anymore. _

_But that was not the worst of it. Knowing that I was being buried alive, but then not dying from lack of air, and then having to claw my way out of the ground, and in winter for god's sakes. It must have taken a while, because when I got out the sky was light and the sun was on the horizon. None of the vampires were there to help, and the only thing I could think of was how starved I was. _

_It didn't take me long to figure out what I was starving for. _

Raphael had had access to Camille's files ever since he took over; and over the course of three years, he had made it through about half of them. Camille had a file for every vampire that had ever been in New York City. At first, Raphael had felt like he was intruding into the personal lives of others; their actions, their character, their personality, it was all written down here in some sick form of observations Camille had made like she was a therapist or something; no wonder why she had such strong control over the others. _Including me_; Raphael shuttered at the thought.

The file marked Santiago, Raphael was one of the largest; and Raphael had to smile at that. He already knew what was in it without looking through it; arrest reports, records of fights with the other vampires, notes on who his family was and his relationships with them, and probably hundreds of notes noting his 'behavioral issues'.

Raphael took a last glance at his folder and then dumped it in the trash; he did not need a trip down memory lane, not a gigantic, pain in the ass one that is. He could handle the moments that would pull him back into the past, the memories that at times suffocated him and brought back all the pain and misery in his existence.

"_What? Wh-" the blonde bitch was speechless as she looked me over. Her green eyes were wide with anger and her hands clenched and unclenched. "How?" The fact that she was so startled by my reappearance was music to my ears. _

_Camille looked to the man standing at her side, the one I had heard talking with her as I lay on the floor dying. She looked desperate, the man looked confused. "Darryl?" She asked him; but all he could do was stare at me covered in a fine layer of dirt from the grave and blood spattered on my lips and shirt. I was probably quite a site, even for them._

"_No one blooded him, Camille. He shouldn't be," The man called Darryl paused, he sounded flustered, kind of like that girl had been at that party a month ago, I smiled as I thought back and my fangs involuntarily slipped out, (I need to get control of that) and Camille and Darryl gasped despite the fact that I already knew they didn't breathe. "A vampire," Darryl finally finished, he was eyeing me like I was some kind of predator, and considering the obvious, and I guess I was now. _

"_Camille, what the hell is going on… oh my Go-" I turned my head as someone else entered the room. He was tall and blonde, but skinny as hell. He probably didn't have an ounce of muscle on him; but looks are deceiving. I cocked my head as he choked on the word God. Strange. "Didn't we, uh, I mean didn't you, Camille, you know? Get rid of him?" The guy stuttered and tripped over his words. And now I remembered the guy. With the new vampire senses people, objects, places, they were all brought into such clarity that it was hard to recognize familiar things; which was probably why it had taken two days to find my way home. _

"_It seems we didn't." Camille answered him without taking her eyes off me. Her own fangs were out now, but she didn't look ready to make any move to attack._

_The guy, the blonde one, I had seen him around the neighborhood more than once. Always hanging around in the alleys or at the parties where my friends and I would get high. He was never the center of attention, actually he tended to stay on the sidelines, preferring to watch us, maybe it was observing, I never bothered to find out. But every once in a while he would join in, braving whatever it was that held him back the majority of the time. _

_And I had shared a needle with him. _

_At the moment my eyes locked with blondie's, I knew he was responsible for what I was now; and so did he. But he didn't look ready to fess up for his actions and I didn't push it; besides, I still didn't understand how I had become what I am now. _

_I turned my gaze back to Camille and in less than a second I had rammed into her, knocked her against the wall, the force of the blow cracking the drywall. The others were too stunned to do anything, and for a moment I just stood there, dizzy from the speed of my attack; then, I reached out and grabbed Camille by the chin, my grin so strong I'm surprised the bone didn't break. I jerked her face up to mine so I could look her right in the eyes, see the fear in them, and I could feel my fangs against my bottom lip again. _

"_You don't want to be doing that," She said, her words were strained and contorted since I had a hold of her jaw. However, her words were enough to catch my attention._

"_And why's that?" I asked; my voice sounded different. It was smoother, and somehow warmer, despite the current situation. Camille's eyes darted to my right and I shook her to regain her attention. "Answer me."_

"_You don't want to kill me because you don't know what you are."_

"_I have a pretty good idea." The words dripping off my tongue like ice._

"_You don't know the consequences of your actions if you were to kill me," Her voice was higher now, her hands scraped at the hand I had clamped around her jaw, and I have to admit, it hurt; but not enough to force me to let go._

"_I've never cared about consequences."_

"_If you kill me, they'll come after you." She said; there was a slight jump in her voice as she spoke the word 'them' that caught me off guard and I relaxed my grip a little. Camille didn't jump at the chance to get away, she stayed there, against the wall with my hand on her gripping her chin but there was confidence in her eyes. She had found my weakness: my lack of knowledge of the vampire world. _

"_What the other vampires? Please bitch, you think I'm scared of them?" My words were strong, but they still lacked the adrenaline that had filled my words before. I was finally starting to come down from the blood high, or at least that was what I had come to call it; my new choice of drug._

"_No. They aren't what you should fear. I'm the leader of this coven; you kill me the Nephilim will come to investigate and everyone will point to you, the rogue vampire." I had heard of Nephilim before; but it was the kind the priest taught of at the church: the ten foot tall, man eating creatures that had roamed the Earth until God flooded it. _

"_I highly doubt those still exist today," I said, rolling my eyes._

"_Ha. You don't know anything about downworld, you'll be dead within the week," she paused I glared at her until she spoke again. "Unless you follow me." I moved my hand from her jaw to her neck, my grip threatening to crush it. _

"_I don't follow anyone."_

"_Then you'll be dead within the week, just like I said before." Her voice was sweet and soft and once again, she managed to get me to relax my grip. "If you follow me, I can teach you about our world. About vampires, the Nephilim, downworld, and how it all fits together." She gave me a smile that said she understood what she was going through;, her words sounded sympathetic, as if she felt sorry for me. And I have to admit I fell for it. My hands dropped from her neck and I could hear her words repeating over and over in my mind; and then I gave a small nod, my eyes on the ground to avoid her triumphant gaze._

Raphael glanced around the room; there was no longer any sign of Camille. _Except for in my head,_ Raphael thought. At the familiar sound of his phone Raphael could see that Lily had called him three times now. Sure he had known, but Lily really was not is favorite person in the world, so he rarely answered when she called.

Now as he watched the screen light up with a text message, Raphael rolled his eyes.

**I found some more information on the Valentine rumors. **

Simple, short, and sweet. But Raphael already knew that was all he was going to get unless he sought out Lily herself, which would mean an uncomfortably long conversation with her that consisted of her giving tidbits of information while she flirted with Raphael while he did his best to keep the conversation on track.

With one last glance at his phone, Raphael sighed and headed for the door; at least he could come back and sleep off whatever horrible tactic Lily was going to try this time.

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There it's not that much longer but it is a little bit. I think I 'm going to change the timing so that this story intertwines with City of Bones, maybe City of Ashes, just from Raphael's POV because I do miss the Raphael/Clary, it was fun.


	3. Drunken One Night Stand

HEYYY! Sorry this is so late, senior year is harder than I thought it would be. :P Basically I'll be updating whenever I can now and that goes for all my stories. Hope it was worth the wait :)

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Chapter 3 Drunken One Night Stand

"_Since you will be staying at the Dumort with the coven and I, you'll need a room. I think this one should work just fine." I trailed behind Camille as she gave a tour of the hotel when all I could think about was getting out of here. Maybe go the alley or a house party, the sun wasn't up yet. Camille kept blabbing on about rules and regulations and other shit like that, but it was all static to my ears. _

"_Can I leave now?" I asked, impatience dripping from my voice. Camille turned to face me, her mouth still open as if she was surprise someone had the audacity to cut her off mid-speech. "You know, leave the hotel? This is boring, I'll learn as I go, that's my style." I gave stared her down with bored eyes as she struggled to gain her composure. _

"_Well that's not my style." She choked out, her green eyes wide. I waited with my hands in my pockets and my jeans sagging lower than usual, just to piss her off more. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she made me pull them up this place had so many fucking rules. "And I think it would be best if you stayed in for a month or two, just so you can get your bearings."_

"_I think that's a matter of opinion."_

"_You need to wait till the news of your disappearance and apparent death has cooled down. You wouldn't want anyone who knew you to spot you, especially your family." That was a low blow; I glared at her. I may be a junky but that didn't mean I didn't care about my family. I thought of my two younger brothers, just 12 and 10 years old, they'd end up in the foster care system now. But maybe that was best, as a human I could barely keep myself alive. _

_I walked along in silence after that. Biding my time I told myself, kind of like a snake, just waiting to find the right time to strike. Camille couldn't be that difficult. Sure she was an older vampire, she could fight, manipulate (including me), and she was pretty. Well, More than pretty, but even I knew going after that was pointless right now, and I swear, I will never take the chance to tap that if I ever got it. While lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice that Camille had stopped and I almost ran into her. Almost._

"_Raphael, this is Lily." Camille waved her hand at an Asian looking vampire with jet back hair that had a multitude of colored highlights. I gazed at the chic with as little interest as possible; the Asian, Lily, was looking me over, sizing me up, whatever. I really couldn't care less._

"_Hi," Her voice was high pitched and girlie like the few white girls that had been at my school who had always dressed in shirts to low, skirts to high, and waved their money around. I ignored her and looked to Camille, for once, and the only tine, depending on her to get me out of this._

"_Lily, if you'll excuse us; I have a lot more to discuss with our newest member and I'd like to get it done by sunrise." Lily gave Camille a gracious look and passed me and Camille, walking by me a little too close to my liking._

"_There's more?" I stated sarcastically._

"_Of course." Her voice was cheery but the gleam in her eyes said she knew how much it pained me to follow her around like a dog on a leash. _

As Lily opened her apartment door, Raphael was pulled back from the memory of his first meeting with Lily and into the even worse present of actually being near her.

"Raphael." Lily was not stupid enough to act like the flirty, girly-girl she had been when Raphael had meant her; she had learned quick enough that that was something Raphael did not like, so of course she had changed to be the person that Raphael would like. The only problem was that Raphael already realized how fake she really was.

"You have information for me." It was not a question but a demand. Raphael needed to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"Oh yes, or course, sire. Perhaps you would like to come in and sit down." Lily opened the door wide, her smile small and inviting while her eyes gleamed with a deeper goal in mind.

"I don't have much time to waste, I'm afraid." Raphael said; making sure his voice remained neutral. Lily frowned, but quickly regained her composer and took a fraction of a step forward. "The information," Raphael repeated.

Lily sighed, her eyes looking up at the ceiling and slowly her gaze lowered so she looked Raphael in the eyes as she spoke. "There's the smallest of chances that Camille has a contact in the coven. I don't know where, but I've heard rumors amongst the other vampires and it would make sense that she'd be keeping tabs on you. On everyone." Lily said; her arms crossed, she matched Raphael's glare with her own.

"That's all?" Raphael asked.

"So far." Lily replied while Raphael turned to leave, although he didn't even manage to take a step before she spoke again. "You know, you really are an ass, Raphael." That was the thing about Lily, she was the most preppy, fake person in the coven, but she was also the only person who had the guts to speak her mind to him. And for that, Raphael could respect her.

"Really? I hadn't noticed." Raphael said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. Although Lily wasn't afraid to speak her mind to him, that didn't mean Raphael was going to listen. Again he turned to leave.

"Don't even think you can walk away from me right now." Lily's voice had lost its chirpiness and was starting to rise in volume. Raphael sighed and turned back towards her. Lily, who hadn't thought she would get his attention so easily, stared at him for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. "Do you really think you can ignore what happened the other night and think it means nothing?" Lily was being vague but Raphael instantly knew what she was talking about.

"Not this rant again," Raphael mumbled loud enough for Lily to hear, partially because it was true. Yes, he had heard this rant to many times for the average male, and not necessarily from Lily, but also because he knew it would annoy Lily. Raphael watched as Lily clenched and unclenched her hands twice before she managed to get her words out in a reasonable voice level. For even Lily, didn't need this event reaching other ears.

"Oh, you have no fucking right to complain. Hell, it's me who should be complaining; and to think I actually slept with you-"

"It's not like you've never been willing." Raphael interrupted; his temper spiking and Lily paused, her eyes looked hurt and Raphael would have felt sorry for her if what he had said happened to be untrue.

"_Raphael, give me the bottle! Raphael!" The giggles that spluttered from her lips told me that she had probably had enough, although it wasn't like I was actually going to stop her. I was just as drunk as she was, minus the giggling. _

"_You have to say please," I stated, my own mind fogged over with the excessive amount of alcohol in my system. I might sober up quicker as a vampire but at least I could still get drunk, of course that had its side effects too. _

"_Pleeeeease, Raphael?" She reached over, grabbed at the bottle, but I was too quick for her; moving the bottle from one side to the other, I turned to Jacob. _

"_You got another right?" I asked, my words slipping and I could hear my accent breaking through. I had spent the past few years trying to get rid of it, but I guess I'll never truely lose it. _

"_Yeah," Jacob was eyeing Lily as she crawling up next to me on the left and reaching over me trying to get the bottle. I moved it farther away with my right arm while my left arm held Lily back, I probably shouldn't have been teasing her so much. I had learned quickly when I arrived at the Dumort that Lily was used to getting what she wants and if she didn't she would turn to Camille. But I doubted that she would remember tonight._

"_Raphael!" Lily's voice was high pitched, but unlike the times I had talked to her before, her voice was the real Lily, not that stuck up bitch voice. _

_Reluctantly I handed her the bottle, but she didn't move away. She stayed cuddled up to me and I didn't mind it. Wrapping my hand around her waist as she tipped the bottle up to her lips and finished it off, she snuggle up even closer so that she was practically in my lap, her face a hairbreadths away from mine when she sat the bottle down somewhere behind her._

"_Hey look: Dogs!" I turned away from Lily to glance at Elliot, and if he hadn't actually been right I would have thought he had taken ecstasy again. Sure enough though, I turned to look in the direction Elliot was facing and there were three of them headed straight for us. _

_I had learned enough in the past two decades to know that werewolves were not friends. They never would be. Now as three approached us, I stood to meet them and the others followed behind me. _

"_What the hell do you want?" I could barely remember saying the words; I was too busy focusing on my balance so I didn't look like some idiot. Although I'm sure I did considering Elliot was giggling like a middle school girl and Lily had her arms around me, trying to hold herself up. I think._

"_You're on our turf." The one that spoke was tall. Like really, really tall. Basketball player sized. He couldn't have been much more than twenty and the other male looked about his age. The third was a short, curvy female her eyes narrowed at me, her curly hair waving in the breeze. I smiled at her; she growled. _

"_We're in a park." I heard Elliot clarify. _

"_A park in our turf," the big, bad werewolf remarked. _

"_And we're not causing any trouble, are we?" Jacob stepped in. He was the oldest vampire here, and probably the closest one to sober. Although as he stepped in front of me, I swear he wobbled. _

"_Don't matter, our pack leader and Camille have a deal; NYC has been divided up meticulously for a reason." The other male spoke up. Maybe I was wrong; he looked more like the leader here. _

"_Look, we don't want to pick a fight?" Jacob said. Ah, Jacob, always the level one. Of course, we probably would have gotten away just fine if I hadn't run my mouth._

"_Who says we don't?" I looked at Jacob, and I'm sure he saw a strange, absurd light in my eyes. I took a step forward, removing Lily's arms from me and right into the werewolf's face. "We were here first, weren't we?" I turned to Elliot who nodded vigorously, his dread locks bouncing. _

"_Raphael." It was a command to stand down, but like I was ever going to listen to Jacob. _

"_I think you're just a desperate little pup who wants to prove himself to his master." I could feel my fangs slip out as spoke. I was a few inches shorter, but that certainly wasn't going to stop me."_

"_I think you need to watch your mouth." The girl stepped forward. She was a few years younger that the guys but she looked as tough as the girls from my neighborhood, which meant she could hold her own in a fight. _

"_Really, where would you like it, baby? The lips on your face or the lips in your pants?" I don't even remember who punched me after that. It didn't matter; the pain was so bad I figured all three had managed to hit me at once. Rubbing at my jaw, which I 'm pretty sure was broken; I stood up, staggered a bit, and tried to focus on the action in front of me._

_Jacob had already managed to knock out one of the guys. Jacob was just too quick, he had beaten me plenty of times over the past who knows how many years that I swear, the person who beats Jacob I'll marry. _

_I didn't really bother thinking; I jumped into the fight with a thirst for vengeance for the fist to the jaw I had received. I grabbed the other guy, hit him square in the stomach and he buckled. Then the girl came at me and I could feel fangs. Werewolf fangs. That was a terrible truth about lycanthropy. They might not be able to change fully without moonlight, but they could certainly use their teeth and claws anytime they pleased._

_I threw her off me, wincing from the bite, but I didn't go after her. I wasn't going to beat up a girl; I'm not that low, not yet. I turned back to the guy and barely dodged a blow to my throat. Then Elliot got his arm around the guy's neck, holding the guy._

"_Give up?" The question came from Jacob, unlike me and the others Jacob looked like he was in control of himself. But the adrenaline was pounding through my veins, my fangs were still out and now I had an entirely different craving. Blood._

_The guy looked sick, and Jacob motioned for Elliot to let him go, Elliot released and the guy collapsed to the ground. Pathetic._

"_You know Elliot, maybe we should teach these guys not to mess with us? We wouldn't want a repeat event would we?" I eyed Elliot and Elliot glanced at me and then at the guy. I knew he could feel the guy's heart pounding and the blood racing through his veins._

"_Raphael, don't." Jacob warned, but it was too late, Elliot and I had already grabbed the guy on either side. My eyes weren't on the guy as my fangs torn through his skin, letting the blood poor out of him, I was watching the little werewolf girl, her eyes wide with horror, tears leaving shiny trails down her cheeks as she screamed at me, she tried to rush us but the other guy caught her around the waist and held her back. _

_After that I don't remember much, that is until we got back to the hotel. That was the night I ended up in bed with Lily. Although I couldn't say I didn't enjoy the night, it was after that had made it so terrible. Lily liked to cling, I liked to part ways. _

"Raphael!" Her voice pulled Raphael back to the present, and then he really could see the pain in her eyes. Raphael knew Lily was strong, but everyone had their breaking point.

"I'm sorry," I felt myself say, "it should have never have happened." Raphael walked away_, I could get the info another time, there would always be a second chance with Lily_, Raphael figured.

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Oh and does anyone know the scene where the werewolves and vampires are fighting? It's mentioned in the the mortal instruments series but from another character's point of view.


	4. Initiatives

First off, the scene from the last chapter between the vampires and werewolves is not from City of Bones and has nothing to do with Clary and Jace. It's actually mentioned in City of Ashes between one of the characters introduced in City of Ashes and Simon.

Hint: the character who is introduced in COA was the WEREWOLF girl from the last chapter ;)

Second, this chapter and most of the next three will be all memories, separated by those fancy pale lines :) Enjoy! Also, I have writer's block with City of Falling Stars so that's why I'm focusing on this story.

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Chapter 4 Initiatives

"_You know, I'd appreciate it if you did something other than piss of every vampire here." Great, not only did I have to get the 'you-slept-with-me-and-then-ignored-me' lecture from Lily, now I was getting it from Camille! And I didn't even sleep with her! _

"_It's in my nature." I replied with sarcastic boredom. Lying on my bed, half-dressed, and my head hanging off the edge where my feet should be gave me an interesting, upside down view of an angry Camille. She crossed her arms and tried to stare me down like she did to everyone else. _

_The problem was it worked on everyone else but me. Ha! _

"_Well, maybe you should make a change to that nature of yours," Camille's voice was soft and cynical. As if she was trying to make a demand sound more like a request. I shrugged and rolled over onto my stomach. "You've been a vampire for three decades now, even a mundane your age would have grown up by now!"_

_I stared blankly at her, and as her green eyes became darker I glanced aimlessly around the room, looking for any reason to change the conversation. "I killed a werewolf the other night," I said in the kind of manner one uses for small talk._

"_I know. Right before you decided to drunkenly fuck one of my most loyal and most useful vampires and then act like she was invisible!" Camille's face was a sneer. "Perhaps you should put your energy into helping the coven instead of tearing it apart from the inside out!" Camille stormed out of my room her hands in fists at her side. _

_I lay on the bed for at least another hour trying to figure out what the hell she meant. Of course I knew, she wanted me to grow up, just like my mother had. Still, I didn't feel any initiative to follow Camille's orders and as long as she didn't use her little vampire charms on me, I probably never will. Slowly I got off the bed, grabbed a shirt, and shrugged it on; I thought back to the other night with the werewolves. Even I had to admit it was a thrill and an adrenaline rush to get in a fight like that. Maybe I could start taking an initiative…_

* * *

"_Raphael…" Camille sighed. She had her elbows propped up on her desk with her head resting in her hands. She looked exhausted; which is something I've never seen before. "Why do you continue with these shenanigans of yours?"_

"_I wouldn't call them that. You told me to take an initiative, so I did. I'm the coven body guard." I said; crossing my arms and putting the largest, stupidest grin on my face, only because I knew it would annoy her. _

"_Really? And who appointed you that position?"_

"_I did. I took the initiative." I answered. If Camille was not so formal she probably would have slapped herself on the forehead right then. _

"_Going down to China town and seeking out werewolves to pick fights with is not being a body guard. It's being stupid and a liability to the coven. If you really want something to do that can be considered useful, then I can assign you something."_

"_Here's the thing though, whatever you assign me I'm not going to like. So let's just keep things the way they are." I said, placing both hands on the desk and leaning forward so I was maybe an inch or two from her face, my fangs visible as I continued to smile at her. _

"_You want to play body guard? Fine. You can escort me to a meeting with the Faire Queen and other Downworld leaders tomorrow night." Camille said; she sat up straight then stood up, her eyes never leaving mine._

"_You want me to be your bodyguard? Aren't you worried I'll embarrass you, or you know, screw every girl there?" I said._

"_Yes, you've obviously proven that you can fight and if you do embarrass me I can always have the Fairy Queen feed you to one of her exotic pets." She said as she walked right up to me, her startling green eyes an inch below mine. I kept my hands at my side as her finger traced the edge of my jaw._

_She was mocking me, not flirting with me. Camille had never shown interest in me other than when I pissed her off, which was on a nightly basis. "I'll be your guard not your date." I said; even if I knew what she was doing I still said the words out loud. I needed to convince myself that wasn't what she wanted. After all, even I had to admit she was hot, even sexy. _

_She gave me a small smile and dropped her hand. "Of course," She paused, "and you won't say a single word."_

* * *

_The Seelie court was a strange place. I knew the fey were, uh, different, but I hadn't expected this. Strange music, stranger people who all acted like they were tripping on some serious acid or something; I certainly was not entertained. _

_The meeting went smoothly as Camille discussed whatever she was there for with the others. It seemed to be something concerning a powerful Nephilim in the area but who was I to care? I'm just the body guard. _

_One of the downworlders, a guy (I think) with spiky black hair and glittering eye shadow I recognized. Jacob had taken me to several of the guy's parties where I often ended up getting wasted on whatever strange drink he had concocted that night. Turns out, his name is Magnus; whoever knew a guy like that could be a leader of something other than New York's Finest Cross-dressers? But of course, I wasn't allowed to voice my opinion. And by the looks of the Seelie Court I had no motivation to find out what the Seelie Queen considered her 'pets'._

* * *

"_You were surprisingly silent tonight." Camille commented. We were in the limo or whatever she had called for us to arrive in and she sat across from me now. As long as I wasn't the driver I was fine with it; still, it was too bad she wouldn't go on my motorcycle with me, I would love to make her scream. _

"_You expected me not to be?" I asked._

"_I have to say, I expected something to come out of your mouth the minute we got through the door." She answered, her eyes glinted with mischief. _

"_So, to night was all about finding a way to get rid of me then," I concluded for her. She gave me a small, tight-lipped smile and I knew it was the truth. "I guess things didn't work out for you then?" She laughed a small, high tinkling laugh and I gave her a small half-smile. _

"_On the contrary, you've proven you're actually worth keeping, provided you keep up this behavior."_

"_I'm bound to revert back to my old ways at some point." I shrugged and leaned back in the leather seat._

"_Let's hope not." Camille said; her eyes glanced out the window behind me before she spoke again. "You could be very useful, Raphael; in more ways than one."_

_I was not sure if there was a double meaning in her words. One way referring to something other than power and control, but I was fine with playing her game and I would certainly beat her at it. I leaned forward, and moved my finger to signal her to do the same; she did. "Except," I spoke in a low whisper so she had to lean in farther. "There is a small factor you're forgetting." _

"_What's that?" She replied; her lips a fraction from mine. _

"_I still hate you." I whispered back, making sure my voice was intimately irresistible. For the smallest fraction of a second, Camille was a frozen statue, ice cold, her eyes looking at me and her lips slightly parted. But then she melted and returned my smile, her ruby red lips revealing the slightest glimpse of her fangs. _

"_Really?"_

* * *

Yes it's short. But at least I didn't take a month to update.


	5. Priorities

Still have writer's block on Falling Stars; and lots of pointless homework from school.

Here's the next chapter, be happy :)

* * *

Chapter 5 Priorities

_It had been a week since the downworlder meeting that I had escorted Camille to. A whole week of being tied down at the hotel with Camille watching my every move for an excuse to send me six feet under; or more likely an unmarked grave with my heart ripped out._

_Sure, I had not actually seen her that much; but that did not mean she was not there. I was one-hundred percent sure Camille had people watching me, I was also one-hundred percent sure those people were every vampire in the hotel. Especially Lily; Lily had gone from my number one fan to my greatest enemy (second to Camille of course). Every time I ran into her I got a death glare, which from a vampire was a whole new level compared to mundane death glares. Everyone in a while she would say a few hateful things to my face and every night there was always something whispered behind my back; too bad I have incredible, vampire hearing._

_I had thought my little stunt with Camille was over; thinking that I had scared her enough to put her guard back up around me with my comment in the limo I figured I was off the hook with the body guard gig. So when Lily of all people came storming into my room I was completely off guard. And by completely of guard, I mean asleep at one in the afternoon, tangled up in bed sheets, and in my boxers. _

"_Raphael, get your lazy ass out of bed. Camille wants you." I was sitting up in less than a second, my eyes on Lily, and my fangs out; if only the intellectual part of me worked that fast. It took me a good five seconds to figure out who was yelling and it took me another twenty to process what she was saying; which is probably why Lily took my reaction for something along the lines of blind, deft, and dumb. "What? Do you need me to draw a picture?" She yelled, or screeched, either one works._

"_Why?" I asked as I ran my hand through my hair, my eyes barely able to focus on Lily. Seriously, I hadn't slept in four days, give me a break. _

"_I don't fucking know! Hopefully to execute you; that's what I'm hoping for." She waved her arms in exasperation; I laid back on the bed, turned away from her and pulled the covers up._

"_Then why would I go anywhere near Camille?" I mumbled as I focused on falling back asleep._

_Lily did not answer for a few minutes. When she did, I could feel the pierce of her eyes glaring at me, "Because thy Lady wants to see her favorite pet."_

"_What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I growled as I sat up, got off the bed and had my hand wrapped around Lily's neck in less than a second. She smiled up at me and I squeezed her neck harder until my nails broke skin and Lily's smirk turning into a grimace._

"_Why don't you go ask her yourself?" She choked out the words; I released my grasp and she sunk to the floor gasping for air. That was a small vampire secret: we don't need to breathe; but to talk, or make any vocal noise at all, even we need air. I watched her for a moment, taking only a small satisfaction at seeing her sprawled on the floor until I yelled at her to get out._

_I pulled on a pair of jeans and an undershirt and left my room bare foot in the direction of Camille's room; eager to get this over with as fast as possible._

* * *

"_Raphael," Camille purred my name; the underlying tone in her voice was ice. She eyed me over with those emerald eyes. She was wearing an expensive looking pair of dark jeans and a simple white blouse with off the shoulder sleeves that gave me a very welcome view of the top of her breasts. However, I wasn't stupid enough to look there for more than a millisecond. "You seem to have a way of making yourself comfortable." She said, bringing attention to the fact that I had made myself comfortable in her bed. _

"_Lily said you wanted to see me. She woke me up. And on top of that unpleasant disturbance, you weren't even here. I took the opportunity." I explained with a small smile on my face, my hands behind my head as I watched her glare turn into an exasperated smirk. I let a second pass, daring her to say something, then got up and walked over to stand right in front of her. "What do you want?"_

"_I want you to go with me to a meeting." She answered vaguely; I raised my eyebrows at her. "In Paris." She finished; I hid the shock from my face and continued to look as tired as possible. _

"_How long?"_

"_A week."_

"_No." I answered; and headed for the door; Camille grabbed my arm and spun me around to face her. It had been decades and I still wasn't used to girls being as strong as I was._

"_It was not a question." Camille clarified her voice like stone. I considered ignoring her, but figured I better not. Whatever it was, it was important enough that she wasn't going to put up with my moods._

"_Really, then what was it?" I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm. _

"_A demand." Camille answered no hint of humor in her voice. "And you will go with me and you will stay within my sight the entire time." Camille explained; her grip on my arm would have broken bone if I were human._

_I smiled at her, my fangs clearly visible. I grabbed her hand that had a death grip on my arm and carefully pried it away, surprisingly she let me. I kept hold of her hand, and took a step, closing the distance between us so I had my chest pushed up against her front; my hand holding hers at her side. "Aren't you worried you'll be getting too close to me? I have a reputation that precedes me, remember?" I asked, my voice hushed, as looked down at her. I wasn't that much taller than her, so when I was this close to her my fangs were mere inches from her neck. And even less from her lips. _

"_Raphael, you're mistaken." Camille commented in a sing-song voice. "See, the problem is, although you have your reputation, the vampires still seem to admire you. Perhaps it's because you're not afraid of me like the rest, or perhaps it's because of your lack of awareness to the fact that I could kill you at any time I pleased." Camille took a half step backwards and I copied her only moving forward. She was obviously uncomfortable with being so close to me, for whatever reason that is. "Therefore, although I've ordered the others to report to me on you illicit activities, it seems they still don't want to turn you in. Even Lily won't snitch on you." Camille finished; I was starting to get an idea forming about what this trip was really about. _

"_You're planning to kill me in Paris?" I asked._

_Camille laughed. "No, of course not!" She lifted her hand to her lips to cover her smile but quickly moved it and when she realized the back of her hand brushed my lips. "Think of it as a probation period. I need to see if all your liabilities are worth keeping you around. Of course there are a few gatherings I must attend, which you will accompany me for, but your probation is your first priority." Camille clarified; I must have looked dumb founded because she gave another short, tinkling laugh._

_I had been on probation before as mundane. Of course that was for drugs and breaking and entering, and as far as I knew, probation only had one definition and Camille's version was not it._

"_You want me to prove to you I'm worth keeping alive? Didn't I already do that last week?" I asked; Camille laid her hand on my chest, I wasn't sure if she was trying to push me away or keep me close. _

"_Yes and yes, however, I need more proof; I'm not foolish enough to say you're worth it just on the basis of a few hours." Camille answered._

"_So if I fail, then you'll try and kill me?" I asked. _

"_Of course." Camille answered; her hand on my chest delicately slipped a few inches down so it brushed my abdomen; my muscles flexing at her touch. "However, I hope you don't give me a reason to, you're quite entertaining and I'd hate to get rid of you." She gave me small smirk._

_Without thinking it over, I let go of Camille's other hand and cupped the side of her face with one hand and the back of her neck with the other. I stepped forward so I had both feet on either side of hers, her breasts pushed up against my chest, and my lips hovered a faction above hers. "Camille, don't tell me you have the same disposition for me as every female vampire here does?"_

* * *

_Hah! Cliff hanger, I'm now officially evil._

_Hopefully, for every reader's sake, I update soon. ;) _


	6. Choices

It's finally up, thank God, you all have no idea how hard this chapter was to write. Now I"m just worried about the next chapter. Relationship scenes are just awkward for me; especially from a guy's POV. But that's probably because I'm a girl and not a mind reader. :P

Chapter 6 Choices

_I reached a new height on the idiot scale that night. Yet, I was probably the only moron who could have come out of this situation alive. Here I was in Camille's bedroom with Camille giving me 'just-fuck-me-now' eyes and a hairsbreadth away from her lips. And I had no intention of doing anything to her that night._

_Camille seemed lost for words. She did not try to move away, but she did not try to get any closer either. I did consider going for it; it would not have been very hard. If she did have the same disposition for me as the other women in this hotel then Camille would comply very easily. Except, Camille was not like every women in this place; she was the leader and had the most authority. Even if what she said about the other's opinion of me was true, it would not be enough to save my life. _

_So I gave her a small, teasing smile and dropped my hands from her face and took a step back. Even I knew when a risk was not worth it. After all, I wanted to kill the bitch; not fuck her, well, maybe both._

_Almost instantly Camille regained her usual sense of business and delicately straightened her shirt while avoiding my gaze. "So Paris," I started; Camille practically jumped when I spoke. Maybe Paris would be more fun that I thought; especially if I could get this reaction from Camille more often. "When are we leaving?" I turned for the door; I had to slow down to give her enough time to answer._

"_What?" Camille looked up at me, and quickly regained focus. "Tomorrow night of course; I wouldn't want to give you enough time to make a run for it." Camille said in a demeaning manor. The bitch was back. _

_I was half way out the door when I looked back at her. She had her arms crossed and her face was expressionless except for her green eyes which radiated hate. "Yeah, because I'm the one who needs to be running." With having had the last word, I left Camille to ponder that as I made my way to my room. I was walking a fine line, but I had to admit: it could be worth keeping Camille around if I could screw with her mind every time I pleased. _

_I had never traveled overseas before and after two hours on the plane I was fed up. This sucked. We had ended up taking Camille's private jet and although she swore it would only be six hours instead of eight, I spent most of my time pacing the isle and trying to convince Camille's pet human to let me have the liquor in the small kitchenette._

_We arrived at the hotel just before sunrise; which I'm not sure how we managed concerning the whole earth rotation-axis-day-and-night thing, but no one was bursting into flames so I couldn't complain._

_We were staying at a hotel that catered to downworlders run by a few warlocks; although they did take a certain number of human guests. Generally the humans ended up as snacks for vampires but again, I couldn't complain. I also found out I had to share a room with Camille, which I could complain about. I argued with her, but she claimed it was so she could keep an eye on me 24/7. I claimed it was an excuse for her to try to sneak into my bed. Not the best thing to say when one is on 'probation'. _

_Turns out, the 'shared' room of ours was big enough to be shared with six people; so maybe it was big enough for Camille and me to share without going completely insane. There were three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen (which no one would use), a dining room, and a living room that served as an entrance room as well. Everything screamed expensive and don't touch me, which made me wonder how much money does Camille really have?_

"_I can take that myself." I said vaguely to Camille's pet as I grabbed my bag and chose a room at random. I was already fed up with the rich and luxurious and it had only been twenty seconds. Maybe Camille would drive me insane this week. _

"_Raphael, don't be so rude." Camille called after me, but I ignored her. Of course she followed. "He's only doing his job." She continued, I rolled my eyes but didn't give her any more attention than that._

"_If I were still human, that'd probably be my job." I commented._

"_If you were still human, you would have died on the streets long ago." Camille corrected me. Sure it was true, and yes, I realized that almost every day of my undead life. That didn't mean she had to rub it in my face every chance I got. After all, she had killed me and expected me to be dead and not come back. Irrationally I made my way over to her, stopping less than a foot from her, my fangs out, ready to bite._

"_Listen, Camille, you fu-" I stopped dead in my tracks; Camille raised one eyebrow inquisitively at me, waiting for me to continue. But I was not that stupid. "Never mind," I said, my fangs retracting as I took a last glance at her before I turned to face the bed. _

"_You're not learning discretion now, are you, Raphael?" She taunted me; I waved my hand at her to shoo her away. Quietly she turned and left my room, her heels clicking against the wood floor, leaving the door wide open. I walked over quickly and slammed the door as hard as I could. I heard the wood splinter and it gave a slight groan under the force, but luckily it didn't break. _

_The first night we were to attend the 'dinner' of a friend of Camille's, which only meant that I spent the whole day in my room hiding from Camille. I was planning to spend as little time as possible with her this week; no matter how difficult it would be. _

"_Raphael, would you get up already?" Technically, I was already awake; I just put an abnormal amount of effort into trying to sleep, which seemed to be impossible around Camille. "We leave in two hours." She yelled; I heard her heels click against the floor and I stuffed the bottle of scotch under the pillow; too late, she saw. "Really?" She said exasperatedly. _

"_You drove me to it." I answered; and instantly regretted. I sat up against the head board and looked back at her. She did not say anything, only stalked over so she was standing right beside me, hands on her hips, glaring down at me. _

_I gave her a half smile in a feeble attempt to charm her. In return she reached under the pillow and took out the bottle of scotch. She looked at it for a few seconds, probably judging how expensive it was, and it wasn't, before she popped the lid off. She held it there for a second as if she was going to take a drink, then she raised it up and before I realized it, she tilted the bottle of my head and doused me in alcohol. _

"_What the fuck?" I jumped off the bed and yelled, along with many other profanities, as Camille watched me silently from where she stood. I took one look at her and I swear I saw a faint smile on her red lips. I was in front of her in less than a second and wrenched the bottle out of her hand, her smile did not fade._

"_You drove me to it." She said softly in answer to my previous question. Her smile grew a fraction before she slipped by me, a little too closely, and headed for the door; I caught her arm and spun her around. To my delight, there was a look of shock on her face, but it quickly faded and was replaced with a look of superiority. "We leave in two hours," she repeated, "I suggest you get ready and also take a shower why you're at it." She said; before she moved out of my grasp and then out the door; leaving me covered in alcohol and fuming mad. _

_The so called 'dinner' that I was to 'escort' Camille to turned out to be more of slinky cocktail party where I was bound to get myself into some kind of trouble, probably with one of the elegant (slutty) women attending. _

_I had managed to get rid of the alcohol smell, which was not easy considering vampire sense, and also managed to clean up to what Camille called 'semi-presentable' I didn't care what she threatened, I would not wear a damned suit and I would not take off the thin, gold chain around my neck. I had figured the black slacks with the long-sleeved white shirt would be enough to appease Camille. (I didn't know that would become normal attire for me then)_

_Camille herself was decked out in a floor length, sleeveless, back dress that invited the eyes of too many on lookers, me included. Her blonde hair was twisted up into some complicated fashion revealing the pale arch of her neck and below that the curve of her breasts which were put on perfect display. Many of the other attendees were wearing similar attire. To my surprise, and distaste, there were a few Nephilim here as well. "Hay una razon para beber." I muttered under my breath. Camille turned quickly towards me._

"_What was that?" She inquired. She had a glass of champagne held closely to her chest and I could not help but look, if only to piss her off. _

"_I said, you look beautiful." I lied, hiding the sarcasm to the best of my ability. Apparently Camille still hadn't picked up any Spanish since I joined the coven because she smiled and stepped away to chat with a dark haired vampire. I had to contain myself to a tight-lipped grin to keep myself from outright laughing at Camille's naivety. _

"_You look like someone who's up to no good." A voice said to my right and I turned to face a short, dark haired girl. Her eyes were a light blue that matched the short dress that she wore; her high heels brought her up to almost the same height as my shoulders. Her right hand was gripped around a slim glass of something that I'm sure was doused with alcohol. However, the detail that caught my eye was the black lines that curved around her arms in an intricate pattern that I had learned to hate. _

"_And you look like one of those damned Nephilim." I threw back at her; she did not seem offended, only more intrigued, which of course intrigued me in return. "Shouldn't you be out saving the world or murdering my kind? Something like that right?" I asked; she gave me a smile, her lips a shade of pink that made me wonder if it was natural or not._

"_I'm on vacation," she replied, taking a sip of her drink, her full lips leaving no trace of color on the glass. "In fact I've never been out of Idris before." She added. I had heard of the Nephilim's country located somewhere in Europe. I was not sure where or who I recalled hearing about it from, but I knew enough about it that I also knew there were some Nephilim that had never been outside that country. Which meant this girl was young, if not very young. _

"_How old are you?" I asked; not that it mattered, if I wanted to have some fun with the girl then age certainly was not going to bother me; to an extent, of course. _

"_Seventeen," She replied, a thought occurred to me about how she had even gotten in here at her age but I quickly dismissed it. "I've never seen a vampire before." She commented; I raised an eyebrow at her._

"_Then how do you know I am one?" I turned to face her directly; she was closer than I had anticipated, maybe three or four inches in between us, definitely closer than acquaintances should be. She smiled up at me, her eyes bright against her hair, which unlike Camille's, was loose and flowed around her face, ending just below her breasts. _

"_Because you're not breathing." She replied, her voice softer than it needed to be. All the conversations here were hushed, no doubt a result of the intimate setting surrounding us. But what the hell, I decided to play the Nephilim's game, if not to my own amusement. I leaned in a fraction, forcing the girl to look up at me to keep eye contact. _

"_Really?" I saw doubt cross her face for a second, her train of thought confused by the breath of air that passed through my lips as I spoke. The girl straightened and looked me in the eye defiantly, however her lower lip quivered slightly._

"_Yes, your fangs are showing." She said; her voice strong yet hushed. I gave her a smile, revealing my fangs even more and the girl let out a small gasp of surprise. The little Nephilim really hadn't seen a vampire before._

_I glanced around for Camille, I was not sure why, but I figured it would be best if Camille did not see what I was up to. Looking back at the girl, she gave me a tentative smile. I gave a small consideration to wondering how much she had had to drink before I spoke. "You're scared of me." I stated simply._

"_No I'm not." She replied, she looked slightly taken aback, then she took a calming breathe and looked me directly in the eye._

"_Then are you trying to gather the courage to stake me?" I asked calmly, I watched her gasp, flustered; she took a quick sip of her drink._

"_Of course not." She responded._

"_Then why are you here?" I asked; and leaned in closer. Her pupils were dilated._

"_I told you, I'm on vacation."_

"_What kind of vacation?" _

"_The kind that offers many new experiences," at that point, her lips were millimeters away from mine and I couldn't help myself but close the distance and kiss her. It was only a teasing kiss meant to entice and it did just that. The moment I began to pull away, I felt her hands gripping my shirt, pulling me back towards her. I played along with her, teasing her, always giving her small, fleeting kisses that left her wanting more. That is, before I bit down on her lower lip; not hard enough to draw blood, although I craved it at the moment, but hard enough to draw a sigh from her lips. I pulled back a fraction._

_I had one arm wrapped around her waist and the other cupped her cheek as I spoke softly so no one else could hear, "What kind of experiences are you looking for?" I asked because I still was not sure if she wanted the same thing as I did. She was young enough to just want to fool around at a party, but I sincerely hoped she wanted more._

"_The kind that a guy like you can offer." She replied, and raised her lips to meet mine. I was partially conscious of the not-so-discrete looks we were getting from people across the room. But like any other previous time, I did not care. That is, until someone yanked on my shoulder ripping me away from the Nephilim's grasp only to be faced with a seriously pissed off Camille. _

"_Shit," I muttered. My eyes darted to the Nephilim, but one look from Camille and the girl skirted off. I looked back to Camille, I had never seen so much hatred radiating off her at once._

"_I think it might be time for us to leave." She said, her words where ice, her demeanor even frostier. I said nothing. For some strange reason, I felt like the boyfriend who just got caught cheating. Why? I had no clue. The last monogamous relationship I had had was as a mundane in middle school. I was not exactly an advocate for devotion._

"_What makes you say that? I thought we were all getting along just fine." I said, and then mentally slapped myself for speaking. Camille turned to face me, her fangs were out, and her eyes could have probably staked me themselves. Camille did not give me anymore of an answer, she grabbed my arm and yanked me out of the room and then out of the building dragging me all the way back to the hotel like some three year old. At the least, I was offended._

_By the time Camille slammed the door to our room, I had a pretty good idea of why she was pissed. It was pretty amusing to think of, and my smile just pissed her off more. _

"_What the hell is wrong with you? You think you can just go sleep with anyone? And a Nephilim for a Christ's sakes! Are you trying to get us all killed, that girl couldn't have been more than fifteen!" _

"_She was seventeen," I corrected, that did not stop Camille from ranting. _

"_I'm sure that's what she told you, not that you would care. Do you have any care about the consequences? About your life or the lives of others? No! Of course not, because all you care about is your fucking self and I think you've proven to night to be too much of liability to the coven." Camille was fuming, but she did not make any move to kill me. I had the subconscious feeling that she didn't want to and I felt some strange urge to comfort her but I really had no clue how. _

_I waited a few moments for anything else she had to say. She was standing a few feet from the door, blocking my exit, and I was a few feet in front of her, arms crossed, eyes adverted. "You're jealous." I stated bluntly. If she was going to kill me, then I minus well put all the cards on the table. Camille's eyes darted to mine, and I'm pretty sure I flinched at her death glare. Her hands were fisted; her red lips looked more deadly than inviting. _

"_You think," She started, and then blew out a breath of air; she gave a short laugh then started again. "You think I'm jealous of that stupid little bitch back there?" She asked referring to the Nephilim girl. I was pretty sure that was rhetorical question._

"_You're acting like it." I said; uncrossing my arms and putting my hands in my pockets, giving her the most bored expression possible. "You did call her a bitch." I added. _

"_That doesn't prove anything, all the Nephilim can go to hell for all I care." She threw the words back at me and crossed her arms. Although she failed to realize she hadn't revoke my statement. I took the few steps forward that separated us and looked down at her. There were wisps of blond hair that had found their way out of her obnoxious up-do; her eyes were a bright green which contrasted her red lips in such a way, that even if she was pissed at me I found it attractive. Her hands were fisted at her side, her jaw ridged. _

_I gave her a small, half smile; but the way she looked at me did not change. I had to give a small thought to if it was worth it or not, there was a possibility of losing my life and all, but then again I had never been much for acting through a logical process. "Then why not let her sleep with me? If anything, the aftermath would have scarred her for life." I said, a smile playing at my lips, I watched as Camille's ferocity lessened a bit, her hands unclenched, and her fangs retracted a fraction. _

_When Camille did not say anything, I leaned in a fraction, my lips a hairsbreadth away from hers now. I waited another fraction of a second; her green eyed gaze never broken eye contract with me. One of my hands came up to rest on her waist, the silky fabric cool beneath my touch; my other hand rose to her jaw, my fingers bringing her lips to mine._


	7. Desires

Yup, the same day I update Falling Stars, I update this as well. I'm just that nice, especially with this chapter ;)

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Chapter 7 Desires

_Unfortunately for me, I had underestimated the level of anger Camille still held for me. One moment she was putty in my hands: her soft lips on mine as I easily unwound her hair and let it fall around her and my hands moved to her waist, pulling her closer to me. Then her claw like nails were digging into my chest as she practically threw me against the wall. Her eyes were dark as one hand snaked around my throat, holding me in place._

"_A little harsh, don't you think? I asked; her eyes scowled at me, but they didn't lose that unmistakable glint of lust. I didn't try and move her hand from my throat, but I kept my hands on her hips. That way, if she tried to make a move I'd have a chance at restraining her. _

"_You're an abomination." Camille scowled at him. "You really think, that after every disaster you've brought upon my coven I actually want to sleep with you?" I waited for her to add on, thinking maybe that I had actually had her all wrong._

"_I think you have a self-destructive streak going on about you." I answered her. She didn't respond, so I continued. "You let me into this coven knowing that I already had it out for you. I've given you dozens of chances to execute me, but you don't. I think you like the trouble I cause. It gives you some kind of thrill in life that revives you from the boredom of immortality. You say I'm an abomination but that's exactly what you want me to be, because it entertains you." I finished, my words were quiet, and my gaze never left hers. _

_Camille stared at me, a little dumb founded at my bluntness. As her lack of silence continued and her scowl slowly morphed into astonishment, I knew I was right. She continued to say nothing, her grip on my throat started to relax, her fangs started to retract, but I didn't let up my grip on her waist. I couldn't help but smirk at her as the realization that I wasn't as stupid as she liked to think dawned on her. Of course, that only made her sneer at me._

_Gently, I lifted the hand that had been around my throat and grazed her soft fingers against my lips; she starred at me, wide eyed and furious. "Now, we can either continue or you can let me go back to your little get together and find the Nephilim girl so I can my make my sincerest apologies." I waited patiently for her answer, as the silence continues I couldn't only feel like smile grow. I had done the impossible: I had stunned Camille into silence. Lightly, I pushed Camille closer to me with my hand that was still around her waist, it was easy enough to make her comply. A small thought passed through my mind that this was not the Camille I wanted. Where was the woman who hated me? She was the one I was attracted to. I had her pressed up against me, not even bothering to ease the pressure of my arm against her, she still had the look of shock on her face, and her lips slightly parted her eyes wide and curious. "Now, what will it be?" I asked again, as I pressed my lips against hers, nothing teasing or forceful, but a real kiss, something that would hopefully make her snap out of whatever was holding her in this state._

_And it did, much to my amusement. I felt her lips move against mine, slowly at first, but they quickly picked up the pace. She tried to pull her hand that was in mine away, but I wasn't going to give her another chance to strangle me. As my grasp on her tightened she bit my lower lip in retaliation, but I wasn't having any of that. _

_Quickly, I spun her around as it was now her turn to be forcefully pushed up against the wall, my body close enough to hers to cage her in. Grabbing her wrists and holding them above her with one hand, I tipped her chin up with the other, making sure she was looking me in the eye._

"_I despise you," Her words were barely a whisper, but her eyes told a different story. I could see the anger and hate, yes, but there was more. No matter how much she denied it, she was infatuated with me, it was why she didn't try to struggle out of my grasp or push me away and it was why she kissed me. I wasn't expecting it, and she seemed pleased to catch me off guard. My surprise caused me to loosen my grip on her wrists, allowing her to free herself and wind her arms around my neck, her hands gripping my hair._

"_Of course you do," I replied in between her kisses, keeping a tight restraint on her waist to keep her under control. Her hands slipped down to my shoulders, nails digging in like daggers as a response to my words. Then they continued lower, down to my abdomen where they pulled the weak fabric apart where the shirt buttoned and slid her cool fingers across my skin. Hastily, I grabbed a chunk of her hair and forced her face up to mine, breaking the kiss, I let her see the full extent of my hatred for her. _

"_Wh-" She started but the words died in her throat. Cautiously, I pressed myself against, her letting her feel my arousal before I answered what she couldn't ask. _

_Leaning in, so she could feel my breath against the shell of her ear I whispered, "I want you to know I will always hate you. There's nothing you can do to fix that. Everything that goes on between us will never change that." I let the words sink in, I could feel her shudder against me, but she didn't remove her hands, so carefully I bent down to her neck and pressed my lips against the sensitive skin. When I didn't get much of response, I pressed harder, then bit the skin covering her pulse, hard. I heard her suck in a breath and her hands dug into my chest, the pain was somehow exquisite, I couldn't help but continue biting and sucking at her neck, leaving dark purple marks behind._

_I groaned as her nails clawed down my chest, no doubt leaving marks of their own. I could feel her pull at the fabric on my shirt, ripping the seams so the fabric fluttered to the ground. Then her hands moved towards my belt. I don't recall her moving it, but I remember her cupping my erection as she slipped her hand down my pants. I bit down hard enough for her to bleed as a result, which was something I had never done with another vampire during sex. There was something arousing about it, intoxicating even. But I couldn't have gotten more than a mouthful before she pulled my hair and brought my lips to hers, preventing me from drinking. Quickly, I grabbed the silky fabric of her dress and shredded it, leaving her exposed other than a revealing pair of black lace panties. _

_I smiled against her lips when she moaned as my hand grabbed her breast, shaping and molding it. I could smell her lust, and with that mixed with the blood threatened to send me over the edge and lose my control. Something, I'm sure she was aware of. _

_Slowly, I could feel her push her hands against me, trying to force me backwards towards one of the bed rooms; however, since I had other ideas preoccupied in my mind, I missed the single step between the entry way and the living room. Falling backwards I made sure to bring her down with me, non to gently either. As soon as I landed Camille set her hands against my shoulders and made sure I stayed beneath her as she kissed her way down my neck and chest. I complied for a little bit, but vampire or not, she was still weaker. I twisted her over so I was on top. I could see fear flash in her eyes for a second, but then it was replaced with determination. _

_I laughed softly, "Controlling even in the bedroom," I said, my eyes roaming her nearly naked body, not really caring if she replied or not. She was better than I'd imagined she'd be, full and lean curves that just begged to be marked with my fangs. My eyes flashed up to hers, then down slightly to her lips. Oh what I would do to have them wrapped around me. I held back a groan at the thought. Unlike any of my past partners, I wanted to prolong this as long as I could, I wanted to make Camille suffer with want, I wanted to hear her beg for it, for me. _

"_Were not in a bed room," she said through clenched teeth as she tried bucked her hips in an attempt to get back on top. _

"_You'll need more than determination," I warned as I placed my knees on her upper thighs, pinning her in place, "if you really want control." I finished, sitting back on my heels and playing with the edge of her panties. Her eyes watched me, and when I didn't make a move to pull them off, she sat up on her elbows and glared at me._

"_Are you sure you really want to wait?" She asked, her voice husky and inviting, I twisted the flimsy fabric tight around my index finger, but not tight enough to break it. I glanced at her again, no doubt she was eyes the bulge in my pants with a dire look of need. I watched silently as she pushed herself up on her hands so she was sitting up straight with her legs spread out before her, my knees still on her thighs, of course, in the position I didn't have the same amount of leverage I needed to control her. _

"_I want to hear you beg," The words slipped out of my mouth before I could comprehend them. With one hand, she pulled my face down to hers, soft, fleeting kisses against my lips. With the other, she mischievously slid her hand against my erection._

"_Please, I want you," the words were barely audible. "Raphael, please." She whispered as she began to tear the fabric of my pants and boxers off at the same time. When she gripped her fingers around my sensitive flesh was probably about the time I lost control. I ripped the black lace at her, fully exposing her and pushed her back, her arms gripping my shoulders to bring me down with her. _

_My lips clashed with hers as I pushed myself inside her, not bothering to wait for her to adjust to mu size, her body lush around me. I could feel her moan into my mouth, her arms snaking around me, scratching and clawing at my skin as I moved leaving marks that I'm sure would take their sweet time healing. Removing my lips from hers I moved to her neck, the marks from earlier still there, I could feel my fangs lengthen, my body moving faster as dragged my lips across her sensitive skin in a quick kiss before biting down and hearing her scream._

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_The aftermath was a blur, the combined sated feeling of sex and blood was something new to my body. It left my mind weak and unfocused, but I could see the scars from Camille and those from me on her that were all the evidence I needed to remember everything that had happened. _

_I could feel Camille's body entangle itself around me, her eyes hazed over like mine probably were. I didn't let my mind go to the obvious. It was true, I still loathed her, and I would never truly be with her. But at least I had managed to sate one desire of mine that revolved around her._

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There. How'd you like that for not updating for forever? Ha! Honestly, this was strange for me to write. I think I'm going to stick with "intimate" scenes from the female perspective in the future.

Also, I'm thinking of redoing the story so the memories are currently happening. Basically it won't be in all italics. However, I probably won't do that until the stories finished.


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